"How is it that I continue to sin against the Lord?"
by bryan woods
I know that I am saved and will spend my eternity with Him. I am sure of my salvation.
I know His truth and have studied His Word!
He has shown His self to me and I have seen His miracles.
How can I say that I know Him, and believe in Him and trust Him, yet continue to sin against Him. It truly confuses me and sometimes causes me to question my true salvation.
I have a beautiful home on a small piece of land with lots of trees, something I have always desired, yet I find myself coveting my neighbors homes. The fact that they have pretty yards,
while I have no grass or sprinklers. I covet my neighbors that have metal buildings for workshops, while I cannot see a building anywhere in the near future. Some have fences, I have
none. I find myself wanting what they have, completely forgetting that what I have is what I always wanted.
Most of my life I earned Forty Thousand dollars a year. I always dreamed of making more money so I and my family could have more stuff. I now make more that a Hundred Thousand
dollars a year and live check-to-check, it’s now not enough and I sometimes find myself bitter that I’m not making more.
I, and my family haven’t been to church in four months and I blame it on my church. After all, the church has been in a rut for the past few years, and not going anywhere. Only a few
families participate in church events, and the leaders of the church wear out those families. I had no choice, but to stop going. I just wasn’t receiving anymore. After all, if I’m not getting
what I need I don’t need to be going there…right?
I know that participating in church is about more that my receiving. It’s about fellowship, serving and worshiping. I know this…yet I still have not gone back.
Since I have not gone to church, I have not given back to the Lord His measly portion that is my obligation to give.
I have robbed the Lord, with tithes and offerings!
I harbor anger towards my brother.
At work there is a coworker.. He is a man that is often hateful and disrespectful to everyone below him.
His language is as foul as his temperament.
Position, power and money are seen my most as his only desires.
Few one in the company respects him or trusts him.
He is obviously not a happy person, and I have never ministered to him.
I know the Lord does not approve of this attitude.
I know that the Lord would have me concerned of his salvation. The Lord would have me seek to serve and love my enemy. Yet seldom do I pray for him, even though i consider him a
friend. It's obvious that I am not being much of a friend.
In my laziness and in my rebellion my witness becomes stagnant. I shun the Lord out of shame and embarrassment.
I know the things the Lord desires of me, yet fail to do them.
I can relate to Paul in the 7th chapter of Romans where he says "...the things I do not want to do I do, and the things I want to do, I do not do...what a retched man am I"
How is it a man can know the truth, but fail to do what He knows is right.
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